LIFE & ALL THAT JAZZ
I was pouring out my morning bowl of flakes (bran every morning… what am I 80?) when I began a very interesting discussion with myself about “waiting for the next thing.” When will X happen? Will X happen? Will, how much do I have? You know your typical 6am bowl of cereal convo.
And then I kind of realized… X is here.
It’s no wonder I’m always waiting… I’m waiting for something to arrive that has been sitting here forever. At least my forever.
It appears that I’m on an endless repeat cycle. Lather, Rinse, Make Something, Repeat.
Or is it that i’m watching the TV show in my head and waiting to find out what happens at the end of the season. Or the movie.
I’ve been reading a bit about the ‘imposter syndrome’ and I kind of think that anyone who contemplates things on a deeper level than “primary existence” has to feel, or wonder, if they belong where they are and a terror or being ‘exposed.’ I live it constantly. But I also believe I suffer from watcher’s syndrome, where I feel that I’m merely playing a role in my own story, and that there’s got to be a satisfying conclusion, that whatever the current X is, will happen.
And then I thought about all of the times I will hear “May the Fourth be with you” today.
And then my cat rumbled in and used her cat box as I was reading my morning mail.
And as I exited the office I could smell coffee brewing.
And I received a notice that someone signed up on the patreon account.
And I marveled at people.
And I laughed at myself.
For a brief second I have understood. X = life. And all that jazz.
ART TO SURVIVE.
LIFE’S WHAT HAPPENS… (you finish the rest)