DAILY SOUNDTRACK

CANDY HEARTS #1

Today marks the unnecessary and totally irrelevant return of CANDY HEARTS!

This is a very irregular feature that was part of the OLDE DAILY SOUNDTRACK where I give out CANDY HEARTS to band, people and things I really don’t appreciate. I do my best to find something good to say about them and you’ always get a link to some music or something or whatever. They’re friggin’ Candy Hearts, other than everyone alive who doesn’t love them?

Today we’ll touch on some musicians that I’m not fond of, but they’ve got a big ol’ following out there. I think. I mean, people still talk about them I guess. I don’t know. They suck are not my cup of tea.

So here you go.

ART TO LIVE!

BON JOVI – LIVIN’ ON A PRAYER

The first Candy Heart in this newly reconstituted bit of word saladry is given to Bon Jovi. I really needed to make this return to an old bit really pop (as they say in the ad biz) and figured I should go with the old standbys.

So what can I say about this symbiotic band/leader??? Hmmm… well, he’s still handsome. His hair still seems to be his own. He sticks by his friends when they are going through bad times. He is still making “music.” He raises money for people in need through a restaurant he started. <— This is a real thing… I think his wife had this idea. Let’s see… what else… um… that’s enough.

THE AMBOY DUKES – JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF YOUR MIND

Tedney Randolph Nugent III. What good can you say about him?

Well, he’s on this here tune and it’s a winner.

He used to be fit and have his own teeth.

He’s from Michigan… and I have family and friends there. Bob Seger is from there. And Iggy and the Stooges. And of course the MC5!!! Aretha Franklin! Diana Ross! Jackie Wilson! Stevie Wonder!!! Wow. That’s a lot of goodness right there. I don’t think any of them were made legal guardian of an underage girl they were dating so they could take them on the road. Well at least I don’t think so.

Anyway… this is one of my favorite Psych era songs and as far as I can tell there’s no violence against women or  misogynistic raving and drooling.

I better read the lyrics again, just in case Tedney brought his pen to this writing session.

McCRUE – DR FEELGOOD

Today’s final Candy Heart goes the the McCRUE corporation. The worked long and hard for many a year to learn how to write 16 of the letters of the alphabet so they could sign their touring dissolution contract. Good for them.

People often never say to me, “Wow, that Vinnie Neil can really sing.” And he’s become quite the showman since his tragic eating disaster. I always figured he’d sign the contract with a kind of DYQL combination so he could claim to never have signed it and continue with his audience torture roving art installation.

Other things about McCRUE?

The drummer with 3 sticks can really bang those skins. I hear he went to college.

The guitar player can rip off a mean solo even after death.

The bass player appears to have grown up to be a somewhat decent person and A) ignore the singer at every possible occasion and B) not leave a hospital, head home and “cook up a bigger shot of heroin than he’d ever done before”. He’s really progressed.

They made a movie about themselves not swimming with Pamela Anderson.

And how can I forget, they’ve sold MILLIONS OF HAMBURGERS.

I actually do love eating Candy Hearts. They are chalky deliciousness.

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